You can never escape the fact that life does not always follow your preconceived notions.  You do not always get to stay at that great company or grow old with that special person. If you are blessed to live long enough, you will undoubtedly experience ups and downs, and you will live through unexpected changes in your path.

I hold the firm belief that you can consciously choose how you manage through a period of life transition. I embrace the philosophy that at any transition point there are two paths: the negative path and the positive path, and that choice is up to you.

When something happens in your life that you deem to be a “setback”, your first impulse is usually to focus on the negative.  You may feel sad, annoyed, angry, or any number of negative emotions. This is normal; you’re only human, after all. Emotions need to be felt, whether they are positive or negative. The key is how you utilize that emotion.

Choosing the negative path, which I believe is a conscious choice that you make, will allow you to dwell on these negative thoughts and emotions. You might say things like, “I can’t help it, it’s just how I feel,” or, “I just can’t seem to get over it.”  You make these statements to indicate to others, and to yourself, that you have no control over how you are feeling; you are a helpless victim of your circumstances and, as a result, of your emotions as well.

I don’t believe that for one minute!! Yes, you may not be able to control the outcome of other people’s decisions, but I don’t for one minute believe that you can’t control your feelings surrounding these circumstances. You have a choice; if you stay angry, sad, hurt, jealous, etc., then you are staying in that spot because you are experiencing some benefit, whether you realize it or not.

The basic concept of the Law of Attraction is this: what you focus on, expands.

If you choose to stay on the negative path, the Law of Attraction teaches that your focus on the negative will expand, and you will begin to see this negativity spill over into all other areas of your life. Staying on the negative path can impact your health, your friendships, your family life; you are in essence digging a deeper and deeper hole by choosing to see yourself in a negative light, and more importantly, by choosing to believe that you have no choice.

However, by consciously choosing a positive path, you can actually benefit from recognizing these feelings and making the choice to see them for what they are: a point of contrast. The Law of Attraction cannot be discussed without understanding the concept of contrast. Contrast exists in your life to better help you define what you do want. If you experience something in your life that you don’t want, then typically the opposite is what you do want.

Let’s use the end of a relationship as an example. Your loved one has just told you that he/she doesn’t love you anymore and has found someone else. In fact, they have been seeing this other person secretly for the past three months, but didn’t tell you because they didn’t know it would “go this far.” You are feeling angry, hurt, betrayed; you even begin to wonder what’s wrong with you – how could you love someone who can be so selfish and cruel? You must not be worthy of anything better, or this would not have happened to you. Choosing the negative path can send you on a journey into self-loathing in the blink of an eye, and you will begin to believe that you deserve what you get. By identifying with your negative emotions, it is easy to see how quickly those emotions expand and lead to a downward spiral that becomes more and more difficult to overcome.

Now let’s look at the same situation from the positive path. After acknowledging those negative emotions, you begin to look at the relationship in a more objective way. You begin to realize that your loved one was cheating on you and didn’t plan to ever let you know but for the fact that things progressed to a point of no return. So what does that contrast tell you? The emotions of anger and betrayal are indicators of contrast. They are telling you that what you really want in a relationship is someone who is honest with you. You want someone who communicates with you so that you that you are not broadsided by infidelity. You want someone who respects your feelings. You deserve to be treated better than this.

Can you feel the difference? The positive path is the path of empowerment; the positive path is the path of validation. You have created a significant shift in your life – by choosing the positive path you have acknowledged your negative feelings but then you have utilized them to help you see the way to move forward in your life. You are no longer stuck, and most importantly, you have begun to sow the seeds for what you really want to enter your life. You are focusing on the best side of yourself and, according to the Law of Attraction, you are creating expansion of all those positive intentions.

This is a conscious choice. You are in control. You are empowered. And it feels good!